By: Allison McCarthy, MBA | amccarthy@barlowmccarthy.com
I remember the moment it kicked in. Post graduate school, my first position provided me with a strong mentor and protective boss. Even when I stretched away from her, other senior leaders helped to shore me up. Then I transitioned into a new position – establishing a physician relations program at a community hospital. I was new, and the program was new. And there it raised its head – imposter syndrome.
Outwardly, it displayed itself as long hours and working through weekends. But inwardly, I felt exposed and vulnerable. I didn’t know about physicians, let alone physician relations. And, I was working with a leadership group that didn’t believe in the program and it showed with lackluster support for it and me.
Over time, through hard work, I conquered physician relations and gradually assumed more responsibility – leading physician recruitment, employed practices, and practice marketing. Eventually, I became a Vice President – much to the chagrin of other senior leaders. I perceived that I achieved these accomplishments by overworking and hiding what I didn’t know. The imposter syndrome stayed alive and well.
The hospital merged with another entity and I left for a new position within an academic medical center. I was leading a network development program that the organization expected to advance – although without a clear vision or direction. The physicians and my peers questioned my competency without prior academic experience. So again, feeling I needed to prove something, I worked long hours to achieve credibility and influence. After the arrival of the fourth CEO during my tenure, I left my position and transitioned into consulting. But there I was again. Doing something new. I did what I knew how to do – worked hard over long days and weekends to achieve success. The cycle continued, and it was anchored as my way of working.
This article could be about imposter syndrome, but that’s a topic for another day. My story is meant to illustrate that change is hard. I wanted to work smarter rather than harder, but my changes were just superficial. I was applying effort to the surface behavior and didn’t recognize the need for a deeper shift.
In “Immunity to Change,” authors Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey describe this dynamic as “shoveling sand against the tide.” Based on their 15 years of work, they suggest that these shallow adjustments are “hidden commitments” to protect oneself against a perceived risk. For example, my underlying assumption was that working long hours and taking on larger responsibilities would generate credibility with others. But, only if I challenged this assumption, would real change begin. These “immunities to change” are frequently unconscious. Kegan and Lahey suggest that real change can take months, and a coach can often provide the support needed to address the deeper change required.
Whether it’s a change within yourself, individual team members, or a larger group, it’s important to remember that resistance to change may not be stubbornness, lack of effort, or intentional opposition. Instead, it may be a lack of understanding of their inner assumptions. And, until internal perceptions are uncovered and addressed, change will be challenging.
If any of the scenarios I mentioned above feel familiar to you, let’s have a conversation. In my coaching practice I am often helping people work through similar challenges. I would love to help you too! You can reach me at amccarthy@barlowmccarthy.com.