By: Jeff Cowart, MAH | jcowart@barlowmccarthy.com
Recently we came across this communication from a healthcare system to its patients or consumers or customers or external stakeholders, or whatever label your health system prefers to describe the people who choose you to take care of them:
In the disruptive and rapidly changing environment of healthcare, our hospital system is leading a paradigm shift in patient-centered care using data-driven models to pursue innovation in quality, service and compassion. We challenge ourselves to think outside the box and color outside the lines, tearing down internal silos to achieve a higher level of collaboration in cross-functional teams. At the end of the day, that means our patients can trust us to be a partner of choice for them individually and for their families, extended families, significant others, and their network of friends. Our dedicated physicians, physician extenders, clinical service providers, nurses, environmental services staff, food preparation specialists, board of directors, community volunteers, administrators (and other categories of internal stakeholders we can’t remember right now but are obliged to mention in all public communications for internal appeasement reasons) work tirelessly 24/7 to ensure our patients and their families have a 5-star experience in our newly remodeled facility, which is state-of-the-art with the most advanced cutting-edge technology. More importantly, we are committed to positively moving the needle of medical delivery and the cycle of service in the care continuum to create easy access to the highest quality care close to home and that is personalized to each and every individual we have the privilege to serve. Oh, and we also give flu shots.
You’re right. This is not an actual communication. But, it is crafted from the actual bits and pieces of storytelling we’ve seen from some pretty respectable healthcare systems. We constructed it from a collection of common corporate clichés and vaporous writing we collected from press releases, marketing brochures, advertising, and the like. The words and phrases are not specific, they lack the power of connectivity, and they communicate very little, though the writing uses them to try and establish a position of lofty importance.
Depending on how one counts, this sample storytelling in 225 words manages to pack in about two dozen vaporous phrases. For example, what does data-driven actually mean, especially to a consumer? What are cross-functional teams and why should a patient care? Why is the institutional and distant word “facility” such a favorite in healthcare to describe where we supposedly practice patient-centered care? If we drive innovation or move the needle, what actually happens that might be meaningful to a customer? Nothing in hospitals and healthcare communications should ever be described as cutting-edge.
For compelling storytelling, we must wrap our heads around the elephant in the room and consider how to consistently achieve the basic blocking and tackling of clarity in our communications. Sometimes we need to step back and eat our own cooking. In the perfect storm of busy schedules and limited bandwidth, where we feel at times like we are drinking from a firehose, each of us has an opportunity to cast ourselves and our companies in a better light by choosing words more wisely. Together, if we blue-sky this, put a stake in the ground, go after the low-hanging fruit, and get some quick wins, we may be able to get traction for a storytelling revolution in the healthcare communications space.
Well, that preceding paragraph added at least a dozen more vaporous phrases to the list we’re assembling here. Remember, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a cliché so purge it from your vocabulary and your writing. We give flu shots. Subject, verb, object. Nice!
Jeff is the writing coach and editor for the Barlow/McCarthy team and is available to help our clients sharpen their corporate and marketing storytelling to better connect with audiences. To find out more contact Jeff at: jcowart@barlowmccarthy.com